you know how people have that filter that seperates what one thinks and what one says...and how certain people claim not to have one because they say everything that's on their mind? well, i think i have a couple extra layers in mine, that i'd like to be rid of. but only around specific people. sometimes i say too much, and sometimes i say too little. but with those i speak too little around, i spend so much time thinking of what i want to say, that the moment passes by and i end up not saying anything at all. and then, i walk away, thinking of all the things i could have said, cursing myself.

nate invited me to start going to church with him. he even said he'd give me rides, since i'm at school for rehearsal til six on wednesdays, so it's close. i told him how he had inspired me to get back into such things, but i didn't go to church or anything because my family wasn't religious. so, he said he would take me to his. wish me good luck in asking my parents, though. they'll think i'm only going because of a boy. and in a way, it is. but it's not for him. it's because of my inspiration from him. and they won't believe me when i add that i made myself a prayer journal where i've been writing letters to God and that i've been reading a chapter of the Bible every night because i actually never have read any of it, but the short stories the teachers would tell us in sunday school when i was a toddler. it's just a plus that nate would be there and giving me rides. heh.

i just think you're wonderful.
and i adore you.