i had abandoned so many things before you came

i adore the way he makes me think. i love his random ensights. i admire his passion for life.
there we stood, centre of the crowd, everyone engulfed in their seperate congregations. we hadn't said a word for several moments. simply stood.
"my family is coming over tomorrow. i'm not sure why..." shrug. hands stuffed in front pockets.
"oh?" quirked eyebrows in interest.
"oh! i remember why! i think they're all coming in to meet my brother's fiancé."
"that's cute." grin.
"yeah" two beats of silence.
"i guess the reason my parents weren't at the choir concert was because my grandfather was in the hospital for something..." for some reason, i don't feel awkward or revealing telling him this.
"really?" surprised, yet concerned.
"yeah. they won't tell me what for though. i asked and my mum just said i didn't want to know."
"perhaps she thought you'd be scared or something?" perplexed expression.
"i dunno, maybe. but i guess he's out and fine now." shrug.
"well, that's good." head nod.
"yeah." two beats of silence.
"i really want to learn compassion. like, i always hear things and i go, 'aw, that's bad' but i never feel it, you know?" motions hand over his heart.
"yeah, i do. i agree. i'll see someone upset or something and i always want to console them somehow, or give them a hug. but i don't want to seem intrusive or like i'm into their business." i realise that my statement hardly relates to his but he smiles and goes along with it.
"yeah, i was reading my Bible the other day and i read a scripture where Jesus saw a woman carrying the body of her dead son and his heart went out to her. and i wonder, what does that even mean, to give your heart out? my heart goes out to you..." he acts out the short story with his hands and makes a bewildered visage as he finishes his conclusive inquiries.
i simply shake my head in response, gawking a bit.
"empathy?" he purses his lips in suggestion.
"intense sympathy?" i offer.
"possibly." shrug.
"it's something to ponder."
"yeah."
we're interuppted by someone leaving. we never come back to the subject. but i did ponder.

compassion is tricky. it is selfless. it is difficult unless your heart is larger than your gut. to give your heart out to someone is to drop all your own troubles and priorities to understand someone else for a moment. to reach out and offer an ear or a shoulder for as long as they need. to let someone share the burden. you give them your heart so they can spill some of the pain unto it and lessen the weight so it doesn't completely engulf theirs.
i almost picture a heart-shaped bowl filled with water, or tears, and you offer your own, not so full, and they pour some of their liquid to yours so theirs isn't so heavy.

i pray to be only yours
i know now you're my only hope